The Vic

Back to the SBS


The Future?
The Jools Brown Jam

Ukulele

The year began with more speculation than a leopard-skin ukulele about the future of the Steve Brown Sound. You just need to cast an eye over the Brown Sound archives to see that 2002 was an eventful year for the band. How would 2003 live up to a year that saw a flurry of Brown Sound firsts? This was the question resounding in the forums. But since then, silence.

Mind

Maybe the band is just busy working on their plan for global domination. There are times when even the busiest of bands elude the most intense media speculation, and the SBS are no exception. We must therefore satisfy ourselves with idle tittle-tattle of a most vacuous nature. You don't mind, do you?

Polanski

So, we have turned to the Cambridge Centre for Brownology to see what their studies reveal about the future of the Sound, some ten or twenty years hence. Using scientific pictorial speculation to manipulate existing images is a practice pioneered by the FBI to capture criminals who have eluded the law for whole decades. It was this same practice that enabled the LAPD to positively identify Roman Polanski, wanted for statutory rape in California, and award him an Oscar for the Pianist in the 2003 Academy Awards ceremony. He stayed one step ahead of their ruse by failing to turn up and collect his statuette, but they were able to publish some extremely accurate pictures of what Polanski might now look like.

Sweet

of applying this technique to the Steve Brown Sound are no less astonishing. This exclusive picture shoThe results ws what the future of the Steve Brown Sound must surely look like. Allowing for the evolutionary nature of the band, which started out banging tin pans in a living room, it seems certain that they will become the Jools Brown Jam, and play to packed stadiums throughout the free world (which by 2015 is estimated to cover at least 3% of the globe, mostly in unpopulated areas). The question that still remains unanswered is where are the remaining Brown Jammers? Little Trickeys and little Andersons to complete the standing contingent of the band, and a little bearded puppy to sit on a stool and provide the indispensable beating of resonant objects. Only when we can answer this can we complete our picture of what all the evidence suggests will soon be a sticky sweet variation of the Sound.

By Nick Hilditch, April 10th 2003

Next Story >> Have Your Say >>
More Stories

Today's Headlines

Thje Jools Brown Jam
Memories of the Merleg
Project Rock Star
Hungary Year?
When The Wind Blows
Crossman Happy Man
Doggy Dwyer
Foolish Behaviour
Ainslie copies Brown
Masked Man
National Brown Velvet
Pop
If Lukes Could Kill
UK Debut
Brown Academy
What a Rip off!
Shiny Bald Scalps?
Anderson's Stand In
Trickey in Hospital
No Mercury for SBS
News Archive